A YEAR OF BLOGGING AND IT WAS NOT BORING

One year. one year since I launched 4AM JOURNAL. I cannot believe how fast time flies. And at the same time, it seems to be ages ago. So many things happened during this year. I went from experiencing funny and cool things, having the time of my life to having to make some of the hardest decision of my tiny little life. The least I can say is that it was not boring!

I launched 4AM JOURNAL on November 3rd 2016. Creating my blog was kind of an evidence, I was so fond of style and lifestyle, that most of my folks were pressuring me to blog. So here I was, not really knowing what I was doing - but having a blast doing it! During this year, I got to encounter many interesting and creative people. I participated to events. I was invited to the Paris Fashion Week. I got to style looks with exquisite designer clothes - Alyx, Aalto, Mykita, Paskal... I had so much fun discovering and living all this. 

Sometimes, of course, you are disappointed: a project does not work or some people are not as committed as you though. But it does not really matter if you know where you're going and what you aim at. In the end, I just told myself that if a project didn't happened it just wasn't meant to be. And I move on. 

It's true that I do not write a lot about myself on my blog. Probably because I am shy and that I feel ridiculous to do so. But I promise that I will open up more this year! Starting now. 

This year was a creative year, but also a turning point. I really think it was. I went through a roller-coster of emotions in my personal life. When it was a good day it was amazing, but when it was a bad day I was really down. I learnt a lot about myself and my limits during this year. Probably pushed them a bit further. I also discover that if you wish something, especially a change, you should go for it and not wait passively. It is obvious, don't you think ? However, as obvious as it is, we all tend to go with the flow losing our dreams, wishes, goals of sight. At least I was, until I decided to take back the control. 

What did I do? I acted. I started with my look. Chop. Chop. No more long hair. Then I made some hard decision concerning my professional life. I decided to take risks. And it was liberating. Basically, I was becoming me again one step at a time. This process forced me to open up to people - even to strangers - about what I was feeling and ask for help. In the end, taking control also requires you to recognize that you can't handle everything on your own. After that I felt lighter. I also wanted to free myself from influences that where holding me back. People that make you feel guilty for what you wish for. It was probably the most painful part of the process. This year I lost or distanced myself from some friends, especially one. It truly broke my heart, as I believe that friendship is as important as love. To me they are only differentiated by the physical attraction factor. When I am your friend I do not judge, I protect, I am loyal and committed to you. Take that back to some of my friends made me feel terrible. But on the long run I now see that it was mandatory for me to do so to be able to evolve and reach my goals. I just had to let go and move on. 

I do not hold grudges. I hope that everyone of us will achieve his or her dreams. I guess sometimes when you grow up your paths take separate ways and that it is better this way. I guess it is part of life to know to learn to end something when becomes toxic to you. It is a long process. Personally, I do not trash parts of my life or friendships, instantly. It takes time. 

Now. A year after creating 4AM JOURNAL. I can say that I evolved and I surely learnt a lot about myself and others. It is only the beginning to a whole new adventure. There will be up and down, but it certainly won't be boring: the next is Hong Kong - prepare yourself!

(Photo credit: 4am Journal)